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Note: This is one of many examples of religious humor that I have collected over the years. Where I have information about the original source, I have included it. Unfortunately, for most of these jokes and stories I do not have reliable authorship information. Like many jokes and urban legends, such information is difficult to trace.

Mormon Barbie

In celebration of Barbie's 40th birthday - Mattel has created Mormon Barbies for those folks in Utah. The most popular model, Celestial Barbie, comes with 8.4 children. She wears a mid-calf flower print Laura Ashley dress with conservative flats (no heels), a bow in her flowing, shoulder-length hair with puffy bangs. Barbie wears a permanent smile, knows how to bake bread, store wheat, can feed a family of 12 on less than $200 a week, make casseroles and Jell-O salads, and still find time to read her scriptures. She comes with an MAV Dodge/Ford/Nissan/whatever mini-van (otherwise known as a Mormon Assault Vehicle).

When you pull the cord in her back, she becomes emotional, teary and says things like, "You have such a special spirit Sister Jones" or "Love ya." Occasionally you can find one that says "Oh my heck!" but be warned: this is a manufacturer's defect. Celestial Barbie would never say "heck" because it's a swear word!

You can buy a Celestial Ken to go with celestial Barbie, but he's hard to find. (Probably because he's off fulfilling some priesthood leadership calling, so he's rarely home.)

    Other Special LDS Barbies include:
  • Returned Missionary Barbie - Comes with BYU or Ricks sweatshirt and mini computer.
  • HFPE Leader Barbie - Comes with all necessary baking equipment.
  • Primary President Barbie - Not very popular, this one has no hair.
  • Relief Society Presidency Barbie - Sold in a unique set, these Barbie's come complete with their own agenda!
  • Young Women's Leader Barbie - Comes dressed for camp with all necessary equipment.
  • Young Women's Skippers - Laurels, Mia Maids, and Beehives, all cute as buttons, dressed in flannel nighties for the sleepover.
  • Nursery Leader Barbie - Be careful! On Sunday after church, all this one wants to do is sleep.
  • Organist Barbie - Has rimmed glasses and verrrrrrrry long fingers.
  • Chorister Barbie - right arm permanently raised to a square.
  • Visiting Teacher Barbie - again, only sold in a set, but a true collector's item as each set has its own recorded message!
  • Stake Leader Barbie - comes with a voluminous set of mini leadership manuals.
  • Salt Lake Leader Barbie - White hair in a hurricane do!


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